What Every Sexual Abuse Survivor Wants You to Know

Be the 15,000 read, its going viral and popular on Elephant Journal.  Join the conversation by adding a comment and share widely!  PS, the girl in the pic is me.

Dee Photo

Important read for survivors of sexual trauma and the folks we love/ who love us/ community we work w/for. An Excerpt from Dayanara Marte upcoming book in Elephant Journal “What Every Sexual Abuse Survivor Wants You to Know! It is the voice in our heads that tells us we are not enough, that we don’t deserve love, that it’s our fault, that no one will love us and that we don’t belong….

Read what people are saying…

1. I sent that to my husband so he might understand why it leaks out of my well constructed brave grown up suit I wear daily.

2. I sent this to my partner for the same reason and the way you worded your comment really resonated with me. You are still brave, even if and when things leak out.

3. It is why we don’t understand why the person who hurt us is still part of our community and no one has done anything to hold them accountable.

4. “It is exhausting but healing is worth it”

It took me to the age of 13 to realise that on going sexual abused and raped at the age of 8 was wrong, because it was normalized and was “a game” by a trusted family member, who still walks the street.

“A blur” 13-19 years old filled with a mixture of self harm, alcohol and drugs, like my own hands, body and voice was stolen from my control. Never really accepting the fact anything was wrong with me, that there was no implications or effects as of a result of childhood abuse.

Yet now, I have grown strong, I am stable. I am grateful, I am happy. I love, I live, I smile I dance. I have self confidence, I no longer drink, clean of drugs, haven’t self harmed for 4 years, nor even considered it. I found myself, I do yoga, I meditate, I found my sexuality and I enjoy it, for me. I dream and I have passion and I know it’s a bold statement but a fraction of that is contributed to reading elephant journals articles daily and being apart of this community, so thank you for being such an amazing group, you help save lives. Such inspiration posted every day, your articles help motivate me to carry on and stay strong

4. I still have many years of healing ahead, but being open with my story has always given me a sense of release, that it doesn’t define me or my identity, simply an event in my life that has allowed me to grow and learn and an opportunity to go deeper within to unlock true happiness.

5. Thank you for your support, much love x

6. It is a daily journey! But I made it !!!Thank you for writing this.

7. wow, thank you for putting that into words

8. The desire to protect others from the same harm, and to prevent it from ever happening to anyone else is very real.

9. this would be a good article to share with your coworkers

10. wow powerful article…poweerful video..but recovery is possible….recovery doesnt seem to mean forgetting or ignoring, but able to rise above and keep the tragedy in perspective of the PAST? i hope thats all possible…thats what i hope.

11. Yup. It’s my cross to bear…It’s a shame my family had no time to help me,they nailed me to it instead…

Mine too. Thought this was well written

It is. So well written in fact that I wish I had a copy when I was young enough that it would have made a difference….

I couldn’t agree more.

12. I just want to hug u & say thank u for writing such darn yet simple words to express what exactly goes on the mind of a sexually abused survivor . I can resonate & feel with each words expressed by u in this beautiful piece of writing apart from being a mother .. This gives me courage to keep my journey of healing continuing ….because it is completely worth it ; to create life in a way that i can love anyway , heal anyway , forgive anyway and trust anyway.. Wish u all the very best in your journey .. God bless !


One thought on “What Every Sexual Abuse Survivor Wants You to Know

  1. Thank you for writing this article. It most certainly explains in a very clear way what many of us go through – some of it or all or it. I am also writing a book on “healing from the experience of child sexual abuse – The Heart of a Woman”. It is time for us to express our experiences and feelings to bring healing and peace. As you say, the perpetrators’, also have much to heal from, however each of us must come to that place in our own time. Yes, it is a challenging and at times lonely journey, however one that is also very empowering and can bring great wisdom. I wish you and everyone else who have had the experience of child sexual abuse (or anyone who has suffered sexual or abuse of any kind) well in the path you choose to follow to heal.

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